Gabrielle and her younger brother were walking down a narrow street in San Francisco. It was his first time traveling anywhere outside of his small town in Northern Ontario.
A very large, unkempt and desperate-looking man passed them closely, turned around and started following them. After about a block Gabrielle felt certain something bad was about to happen; she said later she could feel it in the pit of her stomach.
The energy on the street changed. Glancing in shop windows and using her peripheral vision she could see the man getting closer, his hands clenching and unclenching, jaws working.
She was absolutely certain he was about to attack.
In that moment, she turned around stepped very close to him, looked him straight in the eye and with a smile asked him for the time.
The man stopped walking. Stunned, he stammered something about not having a watch, turned around and left quickly.
When this happened, Gabrielle was in her early thirties, five feet tall and 120 pounds soaking wet.
What’s the lesson? Predators have no desire to put themselves at risk. This guy was looking for an easy target. Not someone who would face him, confront him and in all probability, fight back.
He was looking for a victim, not ongoing medical concerns.
Put yourself for a moment into his shoes: what do you think his experience was? He’s walking up the street and sees a couple of tourists separated from the herd. A petite, younger woman and a very young, clean-shaven man. They’re laughing and not paying attention to their surroundings.
These are his prey: seemingly easy targets. Attack quickly, capitalize on fear, take what I want, get away.
Moments before he puts his plan into action the woman spins around, looks at him — really looks at him — and asks him for the time. She’s smiling? The time…what? She isn’t afraid. She isn’t cowering. She suddenly looks ten feet tall and full of nails. He wants none of it.
Who could blame him?
When you watch wildlife shows, have you ever seen a lion attack the biggest and strongest zebra in the herd? It doesn’t happen, and for good reason: the predator doesn’t want to die for his meal.
Lions are everywhere. Sometimes they’re out on the fringe, in the tall grass, in the parking lots and in the grocery stores. Sometimes they’re people you know and see every day on the elevator. How you carry yourself walking down the street, approaching your car, leaving your home, even picking your tomatoes tells the world a lot about you.
Gabrielle didn’t stomp down the street in Doc Martens or do tactical police rolls from doorway to doorway. She went about her day in San Francisco with her little brother enjoying the sights and sounds, taking pictures, buying 150-year old sourdough bread. What’s the difference? She always kept aware of her surroundings. When something untoward happened, she met it head-on with a smile.
What would have happened if the man attacked her instead of walking away? She would have stopped the attack and prevented further attack using the best physical self-defense tactics on the planet — no one has a strong throat, and no one has strong eyeballs. Fact.
Self-Defense doesn’t need to be pretty; just practical and effective.
TIPS FOR DETERRENCE:
1– Be aware of your surroundings
2– Listen to your instincts – you have them for a reason
3– If you don’t act like easy prey, you won’t be. Avoiding people’s eyes is the mark of easy prey.
4 Comments
Thank you Michael for sharing such important information! Every women needs to be reminded of these self-defense tips!
this is really helpful for all of the women out there. it really starts and ends with situational awareness to keep yourself safe…
this is really helpful for all of the women out there. it really starts and ends with situational awareness to keep yourself safe…
This is a great article. It’s important to remember that situational awareness relies on training your basic attention skills so that they are available when you need them. It is not enough to just remember to be aware, we really need to adopt an approach to regularly training attention and concentration.