Like many other mothers with a young daughter, I watched the controversy surrounding Miley Cyrus unfold with sadness and alarm. Sadness for the little girl who lost her way in a big bad industry known for chewing people up and spitting them out and alarm for the little girls who look up to her as a role model and will no doubt think it’s cool to flaunt their stuff like Miley (who by the way will be getting no free publicity ride from me as I will be turning off anything to do with her until she cleans up her act).
The only good that has come out of this whole mess was an open letter written by Sinéad O’Connor to Miley, giving her a bit of motherly advice that I hope all young girls will heed. As a child of the 80’s and a fan of hers, I can say that my admiration for her has increased tenfold by her words, which I will some day share with my daughter who is currently still too young to get what all this business is about (and thankfully not a fan of the now ruined Hannah Montana).
What I hope mothers teach their daughters from Sinéad O’Connor’s powerful words:
Value Your Talent — Value yourself for your smarts, your skills, your talents. Sinéad says it best with, “Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent.” Later she writes, “You are worth more than your body or your sexual appeal.”
Never Confuse Lust for Love — Know the difference between drawing attention to yourself and earning respect. Leading with your sexual appeal over your talent certainly does garner attention, but very little respect. Sinéad puts it in terms of lust versus love: “None of the men ogling you give a shit about you either, do not be fooled. Many’s the woman mistook lust for love.”
Respect Yourself — Whether we do it intentionally or not, we teach people how to treat us. I love what Sinéad says about confusing lust with love, “If they want you sexually that doesn’t mean they give a fuck about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don’t give much of a fuck about yourself.”
Get Street Smart — Be smart and realistic about the world we live in. Sinéad was specifically referring to the music industry, but this quote applies to so much more: “This is a dangerous world. We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals.”
Don’t Sell Yourself — Remember that your body is for you (and you alone to share with a partner who loves and respects you). She asks Miley to “Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend.”
For those of you who are wondering how best to respond to what is no doubt going to turn into another media cat fight, VOTE WITH YOUR WALLET! If you disagree with Miley, stop supporting her by not buying her stuff.
