“How’s that work-life balance thing working out for ya? I think we all knew when we became Mothers that this parenting game was never going to be “fair”. Reminds me of this great quote, in raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul.” -Lisa T. Shepherd
After 20 years in the parenting game, I have some learning to share with you.
Time does not stand still.
As young parents, we made the choice that I would stay home for as long as possible and my husband would continue to work. At the time, we shared one car and we didn’t have any extra money for frills with the mortgage interest at 16% back then; it was a ton of cash and a huge financial commitment to have a nice home in suburbia to raise our family. Once the children grew older, I got the itch to go back to work, and I was lucky enough to be hired into my sister-in-law’s business of a chain of retail stores.
I consider myself blessed that due to their kindness and sense of family, I never missed a special day at school or sports day. I participated in all facets of my children’s lives from the PAC committees at school to coaching my son’s baseball team for 3 years. As a parent, you just do it. Now, in times of reflection in the case of my own two children, the time went so fast that I question myself at times. Did I do enough for them? Did they appreciate my efforts? Did they know it was all for them and on their behalf?
Then I had a realization. This is my life, and I was doing my best at what I knew to do, at the time. All along the way, I had some great guidance from my family and friends. They were my internet. I also realized it wasn’t my in-laws, parents or children’s job to appreciate what I had done as a parent; it was my own opinion that ended up being most important!
My one constant of raising the children while working a full time job, running a household, sports activities, you know…. running the full parental gamut, is sometimes you have to slow the road show down. I believe you must make time to access things from the heart and recalibrate who you want to be as a parent, start saying no to things you no longer have the love to do, slow the life down so you can recognize the patterns, and make small changes, by committing to them day to day, to be able to appreciate it all, more.
Knowing this moment will never come again with this child, as time does not stand still.
For more words of wisdom from Janice Martin, change catalyst, Mom & CEO, sign up for her Personal Confidence Assessment & Cheat Sheet at www.janice-martin.com.
