Whenever I hear the words “I’m JUST a Mom”, my heart sinks. Just is one of the most pervasive and diminishing words that implies a hierarchical value, one that places moms at the bottom.
How many times has someone asked you where you work and you said, ‘Oh, I’m just a mom’. Really? Just? Raising and caring for the next generation and you are going to relegate the task with “just”?
Never underestimate the power of words…
Did you know that upwards of 50% of our language creates our reality? More than 50%! Every time you speak, your words color and create your experience of what is on the horizon. We can no longer blame society when we feel make second best or lower than others if our own language confirms it.
Compare these two sentences:
“I want peace and quiet.”
“I just want peace and quiet.”
Which sounds more assertive to you? The simple addition of just makes the second sentence scream of desperation and frustration; whereas, the second simply states what you want. It’s the desperation that takes away from the power of the request because it has the implied expectation that you aren’t going to get it. If you preface every verb with ‘just’, you are playing down, dimming down everything you do.
Talk about playing small with one 4-letter word.
You can’t hide from the power of langugage…
It’s important to understand the role language plays in constructing our mental lives, and thus the results those beliefs manifest around us. The more you diminish what you do, the more smallness, disrespect and low-level people you attract. That plays out in the clients you connect with and the employees you bring into your business.
The 4-letter cousin to ‘just’ is ‘only’. I recently heard a mom respond to the question of what she does for a living “I only work at home”. Really? Only raising the next generation who will not only take care of you but run this world? It’s another common and subtle way that we take the wind from our own sails without realizing it.
The ways we limit ourselves with language…
When we limit ourselves with language, we are unknowingly creating the EXACT realities we say we don’t want.
Always and Never – Always and never language is finite with very little room for change. The founding perspective is often stuck in a moment or era and carries a heavy emotional field of disappointment and fear. These words are sure to help you stay in your comfort zone. Why? Because it’s ALWAYS been that way and will NEVER change.
Lack and Less – These words may not be heard in native form yet the language they form is a poverty perspective that there will never be enough. Indicators are when you place a greater value on things or results than on your own time or yourself.
“I don’t have enough (fill in the blank) to do what I really want.”
Not and Don’t – The funny thing about our brains is we must first think about doing something before we can process NOT doing it. Think of how many times you have asked someone NOT to do something, but they keep doing it? Or don’t do that! And then they do it again. Speaking in the affirmative and asking for what you DO want sets the listener up for success.
Are you ready to take the language challenge?
I challenge you to record yourself talking over the phone. Play the conversation back and count how many times you used language that keeps you small and away from your dreams.
Do this as many times as you need to create the consciousness around your language and get creative about how you answer questions an describe your life. Use the language that speaks directly to what you do want and owns your current greatness!
When you change your language you will change your life.
Find Aly online at www.stepup.net where she works with successful entrepreneurs and their teams who are dealing with the frustration and stress related to business growth and not achieving what they know is possible.