First, Victoria’s Secret alluded that my adolescent daughter would be a Bright Young Thing if she wore thongs that said “Call me.” Next, a walk through the mall showed my daughters that if she dressed in a skimpy little outfit that Daddy (ahem, Sugar Daddy) would buy her Sketchers and give her all the money she wants. Now, Playtex has stated that if she has a “clean peach”, she’ll get “picked first,” or worse, if she has a “clean beaver,” she will “get more wood.”
Um. Ew. Gross. And, REALLY? Enough is enough.
Are these the messages we really want to send to young girls?
Yes, I know that the ad execs have stated these ads are not aimed at young girls. Sure. And, beer commercials during football games don’t make young males aspire to drink. And pigs can fly. But, I digress. Anyone who has any insight on kids knows that whether a child is 9 or 12 or 16, they want to be older. Older seems cooler and hipper.
Young girls have enough to worry about with changing bodies, evolving relationships, raging hormones, homework, friendship drama, periods and more. Now they also have to worry about whether they are <insert advertising lingo here: clean, sexy, desirable> enough. They are bombarded with messages that seem to scream, “You are not enough.”
The billboards seem to laser directly at young girls insecurities by saying “Being smart or athletic or talented isn’t enough to get by.” These messages imply that to make it in this world you need to concern yourself more with money, appearance and especially sex. Ad campaigns like these aren’t just teaching girls that her self-worth is not really based on who she is, they are teaching boys to value a woman based on what she wears, what she spends, or what others think of her. (It bears mentioning that Playtex is also telling boys that a “clean knob gets more opens.”)
So, what can we do? How can we tell girls and young women that they, just as they are, are enough?
Let’s start with teaching them that decisions on what electives to take at school or whether to volunteer at the animal shelter or homeless shelter hold far more weight in their life than choosing flashy shoes or skimpy underwear. Let’s make sure they know that being “picked first” doesn’t define them; they define themselves through their dreams, their goals and their decisions.
Every parent must make their children know – truly know that their friends and the people they surround themselves with should like them for who they are, not how they look. And, finally, let be sure our children know they their self-worth is not based on buying something; it comes from loving something – loving yourself. (Good advice for us parents to remember too!) Because you as you is enough. And, enough is enough.
Join us in asking Playtex to stop by signing the #DearPlaytex petition and tweeting your comments using #DearPlaytex!
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A special note to any businesses reading this: I understand that you are in the business to make money, and, yes, sex sells. However, these suggestive marketing campaigns are going too far by teaching young girls that their acceptance by others is based on how much she can buy, her underwear choice, or how clean she is.
The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty is a fantastic example that sent a positive message to young women – and translated to great sales. If you really want to reach this market, follow that lead and start putting a child’s self-worth above profit, and chances are you will have a them as a customer throughout their whole life.
For more practical tips on helping your tween or teen girls navigate these confusing years, visit Julie at www.juliesmith.com!
32 Comments
Thank you for bringing these campaigns to our attention. To be honest, I think your side note to businesses at the end says it all.
The entire dynamic needs to change. Women are being taught our value lies in what we wear rather than who we are and men are taught they aren’t manly enough without the fast car, trophy wife or big paycheck. Insecurities are exploited in almost every facet of society.
I couldn’t agree more. I first saw this ad in my “Shape” magazine and it sort of shocked me. I’m not a prude, but really? I don’t mean to assume, but my guess is this was created by a single, twentysomething, newbie ad exec who’s awfully proud of himself. It’s one thing if it’s in Cosmo, because I don’t leave that one just lying around. But Shape? My daughter sometimes uses my magazines to clip words or letters for school projects. Guess I’ll have to do that project with her hand in hand. This ad really does go too far.
It’s not just the girls, there’s an ad directed at boys that says a polished knob will get more turns … at what exactly? Gang rape?
WTF. Rage-inducing …
Agreed, @bbeb22868bb2c5db07a4f92fa4d1a765:disqus. For some reason, late night bar jokes have become the new marketing campaigns. These oversexualized messages are being heard loud and clear by kids, and it is changing the way they are viewing themselves and the world.
@twitter-24903940:disqus – I’m no prude either, but these ads are going off the deep end. They are circulating on the internet and kids are seeing them every day. It is taking it’s toll on boys and girls alike.
Thank you, @facebook-100005480562738:disqus. A change has been needed for quite awhile, but I don’t think it held the urgency until we realized that the insecurities of young children were being targeted. I am definitely on a crusade to make a change, and it sounds like you are as well. 🙂
I agree- i saw this ad and said WTF? Isnt anyone thinking about these kids anymore? jesus. There is nobody minding the store.
love the article- but was hoping for an easy link to contact playtex directly to complain. perhaps you can add that in your post as you pass it around?
Well said Julie! These advertisers need to get a reality check and realize who their audience is. These comments sound more like crude jokes a guy would make to his buddies over a beer than something that should ever be said to a woman… let alone when you’re trying to get them to purcahse your products! They may think it’s “funny” – but I doubt many women (aka their customers!) are laughing.
I’ll definitely put a link /campaign together, @a8bbef0c89d14bf777ee9a052698feaa:disqus
Thanks, @facebook-35402486:disqus. I agree; these are late night bar jokes, not marketing campaigns. I cannot fathom how or why the marketing execs thought this would be a good way to attract and keep their female customers.
Thank you, Julie. Nothing makes me see red than when companies sexualize our girls and boys too, for that matter. They are not objects but human beings endowed with dignity.
Totally agree.
Honestly as a mom I’d like to line them up and smack them in the face- truly I would. I am so over all of the sex they are pushing on our kids. When can young girls even be simply “young” Why do they have to have words on their underwear saying call me, and all this stupidity. But I have to say Julie that the true stupidity does not lie with these advertisers. It lies with us as parents.
As long as we keep pulling out money and buying they will keep selling. I know VS has pretty underwear but I will never purchase a pair again. And other moms should do the same. Words do nothing dollars are the only thing these morons understand.
I am absolutely disgusted that Playtex of all companies would use such offensive ads to sell product! I’m not using their products anymore, but it’s unfortunate, if I did, I’d write directly to them and tell them WHY I’m not using their products anymore.
Oh wait… Why don’t I write and tell them so anyway! Maybe they’ll wake up and realize how degrading their as really are?
Agreed, Lisa. Parents need to should this responsibility too. Sadly, messages like this will continue in some fashion, so it is up to us, as parents, to teach our children to be resilient. The best way to do that is to model the behavior we want. I, too, am boycotting these products as well. Their would have to be a radical change for them to earn me back as a customer.
Thanks, @b3a612eff5b728a2d8e60933349f97bb:disqus . 🙂
Yes, @twitter-288907793:disqus , this is affecting girls AND boys. They are being objectified and are learning that their value as a person is based on what others think of them. So disheartening. #GiveUsOurDignity
Very good message here Julie! I totally agree with you. They should not use these kind of words. It’s disappointing that no one seems to be doing something to stop or at least give them a warning.
Great post! I couldn’t agree more. And we need to take the same message to Hollywood who are constantly targeting much younger audiences in their advertising than the movie is fit for. 🙁
Agreed, @facebook-718096805:disqus. It infuriates me even more that this is a company that makes products sold to parents (baby bottles, nursing bras, etc). They could have created an incredible amount of loyalty from infancy to tween/teen to womanhood. Instead, they have alienated this market.
Even my teen daughter shakes her head at some of the advertisers and says Mom what are they thinking!
yuck! a joke is a joke, but advertising should be G rated
I haven’t seen the Playtex ads, but will admit, I’m kind of shocked. I think that the message is poor for all women. We all need to remember that what were now is good enough.
I am grateful we live in a world where, as moms, we’re sick of this and can have the great important conversations about esteem and confidence and false images in advertising at a young age. Children are more influenced by what we say and how we act/react to the nonsense than we give them credit for. It doesn’t mean this kind of ridiculous advertising shouldn’t go away for good… or at least be limited to prime-time, adult-focused outlets and represent the more natural, real versions of women? But I am certain the bigger problem is that boys see it too. Boys who will one day be tweens and teens and men who will continue to compare our daughters to those images. I’m desperately hoping the moms of boys are talking to them about “real bodies” and how to respect women and keeping them away from the images and language that demoralize women. Heck, forget about demoralizing… how about misrepresenting us. Because I can hope my influence on my daughters is enough. But it won’t be. I have 3 daughters aged 5, 7 and 10 who are into sports and know what airbrushing and photoshop are. I hope that helps too.
Thanks, @google-f253f160f940cf75d32c19abde9c1922:disqus. It is very frustrating. I have reached out to Playtex to talk with them about it, but, alas, have not heard anything yet.
Oh my goodness, @teenabrown:disqus. I agree regarding Hollywood. There really needs to be an overhaul of the messages that are being sent to kids of all ages!
I’ve heard the same thing, @twitter-25490504:disqus, from other teens. They just don’t get what these companies are thinking at all.
Agreed, @virginiafynes:disqus!
Yes, @OneCrazyKid:disqus, this message is horrible for all women and for men as well. I don’t want my son or my daughters thinking this type of message is acceptable. These companies need to be educated on how to truly engage and honor this – actually any – age group.
@facebook-1516629488:disqus, well said. This isn’t just an issue for girls. It affects boys as well. It influences how they view girls and women. Courageous conversation with boys must be had. I’ve had many conversations with my own son about what real beauty is. It isn’t skimpy outfits or what a girl will do for you. Real beauty is compassion, empathy, substance, integrity….. And, yes, we need to create resiliency in our children because, try as we may, these types of messages will continue to permeate our culture.
i don’t want to cause a fuss here
but honestly, i’m one of those girls who have grown up in the ‘self esteem’ movement. you are as good as you are. you’re special. you’re perfect.
…
and as an adult, almost 20, i’ve had to come to terms with. no, i’m not. i can always improve SOMETHING. and i’m a lot more content now knowing that than being patted on the shoulder and allowed to ‘pass’ because i ‘tried’. and once you start telling people, collectively, that they’re all special, even we kids stop listening. so not only do you do that, but then they begin to doubt themselves. the self esteem movement ended up actually crushing my self-esteem and i built it up by…
well, getting skimpy underwear, getting a real bra (not a sports one), getting a mini skirt and feeling, well, pretty. in my own way. i still wear combat boots with my skirt, but you know. i have a boyfriend, so i’m not doing it for anyone else but him and myself, because i feel good and confident in that clothing. my legs look longer, and with a big hoodie, i think i look ‘cute’.
i AM repulsed by the advertisements, but i want to drop my two cents in the bucket that telling your girls they’re fine just how they are is… not really a good idea. getting far in life requires effort and hard work, for boys AND girls. the ‘pretty girl’ may get the waitress job, but she’s not going to get the computer tech, chemist, chef or hair-dresser job just because she’s been naturally endowed with prettiness and can buy no-padding-needed bras.
at the same time, you can’t get MAD at your daughter when she has moments of low self-esteem … because it happens. and that’s going to screw her over harder than anything else. high school is hard. most of us leave high school and get a boost of self-esteem once we get experience. give her EXPERIENCES, don’t shelter her, and she’ll turn out okay… even if there’s a patch of black ice on the way.
to be fair i built up my self esteem through other ways, as well. but one of the things i did was just dress prettier, how i wanted to, and allowed myself to kinda do away with the baggy clothing because ‘being sexy is bad’. i felt a lot better. a lot has happened in the past few years to build it, but that WAS significant.