A tea party may seem like an old-fashioned delight exclusively for little girls and dolls. But my co-teacher Sarah and I regularly hold tea parties in our five-to-eight-year-old classrooms as teaching tools for etiquette and much more. You can do the same.
We start with a basic philosophy: the world is an over-scheduled place, and children need every chance they can get to slow down. Our main target is to provide a gracious setting where courtesy comes first. And courtesy begins with others.
Picture child-sized tables draped with tablecloths. Each table is laid carefully with small cloth napkins, cocktails forks, tiny spoons, miniature cups and saucers, and a teapot. Child-sized chairs are lined up waiting for guests. Everything— scaled down to children’s hands—is genuine, down to the china cups and teapots and the real silverware. Classical music plays in the background.
Dress-ups in the form of boys’ and girls’ hats, jewelry, ties and feather boas adorn a nearby sofa, ready for wearing. Bowls of soapy water, dishtowels and drying racks await the cleanup process. Every bit of this array is set up and arranged by the students, including the sugar cookies they bake a day earlier. Since it is their party the students gain a sense of ownership and the obligation is real.
Of course, our afternoon tea parties don’t happen overnight. Sarah and I work for months with the children, supervising at every turn, to build the responsibility that it takes to make these events tick. But the magic always happens. By the end of the school year, imagine our satisfaction when we host a parent-child tea party and the students are able to show their moms and dads what they have learned – napkins on laps, tea and brownies offered to guests first, quiet conversation, mouths not full when talking. And of course… we never leave our spoons standing in our teacups! Well, hardly ever.
I’m sure you can envision the broken china and spilled tea that go along with our parties. Yes, there is a learning curve, and yes, a healthy serving of patience is required on the part of adults. But using real dishware, despite the risk of breakage, is part of the lesson. Kids learn a greater sense of care when sipping from china than when working with plastic. They come to understand that they are being trusted with the real thing and rise to the occasion.
And in case anyone wonders about boys being willing to submit themselves to such a girlie affair – some of our most fervent tea party fans have been young gentlemen.
Six years ago, when Sarah first tried to convert me to the cause, I never thought formal tea parties and young children could go together. Now I’m sold. Here’s hoping you might be willing to give tea parties a chance as well.
Laura Barger is a writer and K-2 teacher at the Glenview New Church School in Glenview, Illinois.
3 Comments
This sounds wonderful. I try to have tea parties with my 2 and 5-year-old, but we don’t get quite as fancy as you do. Some day, we’ll have enough kid-sized items to make it happen.
This is a great idea! We’ll try to see if we can organize such wonderful parties like you do. 🙂 My little girls are definitely gonna love it but I’m not quite sure with my little boys. I hope they will. 🙂
Sounds wonderful.