Parenting 101: Suffering from I-WANT-itis? How to Dial Down Holiday Demands

Feeling pinched from holiday spending? Wish you could put the brakes on the Christmas consumption? How does one cut down? How do we break it to the kids?

It’s simple if families communicate the changes early, with loving intent and assurances that the holidays will be about presence and not presents.

How to Dial Down Children’s Demands at Christmas

#1: Focus on time, not toys

Children remember good times and not toys. Create rituals around the tree decorating, baking, activities and family and friend visits. Children will remember a special time with Grandma baking cookies much more than the hottest gift that is tossed aside in favor of more gifts.

#2: Go for quality over quantity

Try and get that one special, most wanted gift on their list, if possible. If buying the ‘hot’ gift isn’t possible due to budget or availability, decide what toys and games have the most play value, such as simple, unstructured toys that can be played with in many different ways. Keep in mind that children are often disappointed with the advertising hype when they eventually get the ‘it’ gift.

Don’t dismiss the second hand stores for huge bargains on consignment and gently used toys. Children DO NOT care if the toy doesn’t come in mounds of wire, and clear plastic and cardboard packaging. Toys don’t have to be new, just new to them. Make sure the toys are clean and working though.

#3: Make a list

Tell the children to put all their “I want’s” on a list when you are out shopping or they are watching TV. Parking the desired objects on paper assures them they won’t forget and it gives you clues as to what they really, really want especially if it’s written on the list five times. Writing it down tends to curb the whining and nagging out at the mall.

#4: Tune out advertising

Turn off the TV from Halloween onward and watch videos instead. Children don’t need to be advertised to so much during the holiday season. They may not even want the item for interest sake as much as for peer pressure or the fact that the media over-hypes the features.

#5: Be honest about spending limitations

Explain limitations in a very age-appropriate, simple way. It’s perfectly okay to tell children, “We don’t have the money for that this Christmas.” or “Santa can’t bring such expensive gifts.”

#6: Acknowledge feelings of disappointment

Acknowledge your child’s feelings of unhappiness and disappointment. Your job as a parent is not to shield your child from unpleasant feelings. By allowing them to experience disappointment and the self-esteem they reap from dealing with it and surviving quite well, you are giving them the gift of Emotional Intelligence and it will serve them tenfold later in life.

#7: Emphasize people and not things

Put the emphasis on people and not things. Do special things for charity, relatives, and people in the community and friends. Time is very much more appreciated than money and items from others and again, your children will remember those special moments and gratitude from others.

#8: Shift the focus

Focus on doing, rather than getting. Make presents from everyday items. Kids love to make them and they experience the real joy of giving when they put so much more effort into the object, rather than to pull it off a store shelf and have Mom or Dad hand over the credit card to the salesperson.

Check out her best-selling book, “Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery”