Parenting is the best job in the world, but let’s face it: we just aren’t paid enough for all the “behind-the-scenes” duties of being a mom! Some days it is just survival as you tell your child to chew with their mouth shut for the umpteenth time and secretly wonder if they’ll become the only adult who has yet to master the art of eating.
Want to know the secret that helped keep me sane as a parent and learn how to roll with the small stuff? It’s a simple shift that has led to a deep, loving and peaceful connection with my daughter. It happened when I applied my Character Code™ system to parenting and matched my parenting style to my daughter’s personality type.
Understanding Your Child’s Personality Type
There are six Character Codes™: The Class President, Cheerleader, Actress, Activist, Artist and Scholar. The system is based on key personality traits that define how people interact with the world around them. Some people are just one type and others are a combination.
As a Class President parent, my focus is optimization. This means that when it came to getting my daughter up for school I figured out exactly how long she could sleep, how much time it would take her to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush her teeth and get ready for school. By my calculations, 7:30 am was perfectly sufficient.
My daughter is a Cheerleader/Activist, meaning she doesn’t move in a straight line. Asking her to do something as simple as putting on her socks (which are 3 feet away) takes 20 minutes because she will walk throughout the house before she arrives at her socks. In that time, she will check on the princess in the castle, play with the frog, walk upstairs and wonder why she is there and eventually arrive back downstairs at her socks.
Her behavior used to drive me nuts until I realized that she’s a people person, she’s a feeler and she likes to move in circles. Playtime is just as important as any other activity for her and animals outrank most people.
What was the solution? It was simple: getting her get up at 7:00 am to give her enough time to move in circles as fit her personality instead of forcing her to fit her personality into my parenting routine.
It totally went against my instinct to maximize her sleep; however, by understanding her needs and her process, it became apparent that she just needed the extra time. The results: peaceful mornings, a daughter that get to be “who” she is and a mom that gets to leave on time.
Parenting to our child’s personality type helps us recognize that sometimes our children have a different personality style than us and we can accommodate that and recognize their strengths. Does that mean we get it perfect? No, there’s no perfect, but there’s always room for improvement. It does mean starting from a place of understanding.
It may mean different rules for different siblings after all, each of them are different people with different personality types. It really works to notice, respect and honor the unique personalities with the people in our families. Not only will it make us more accepting of ourselves, our strengths and our challenges, but it will also make us more tolerant of others.
In a family with many different Character Codes™, tolerance and understanding is a valuable skill on the path to peace!
Want to learn more about the Character Code™ System? Visit www.brandymychals.com.