Parenting is the best job in the world, but let’s face it: we just aren’t paid enough for all the “behind-the-scenes” duties of being a mom! Some days it is just survival as you tell your child to chew with their mouth shut for the umpteenth time and secretly wonder if they’ll become the only adult who has yet to master the art of eating.
Want to know the secret that helped keep me sane as a parent and learn how to roll with the small stuff? It’s a simple shift that has led to a deep, loving and peaceful connection with my daughter. It happened when I applied my Character Code™ system to parenting and matched my parenting style to my daughter’s personality type.
Understanding Your Child’s Personality Type
There are six Character Codes™: The Class President, Cheerleader, Actress, Activist, Artist and Scholar. The system is based on key personality traits that define how people interact with the world around them. Some people are just one type and others are a combination.
As a Class President parent, my focus is optimization. This means that when it came to getting my daughter up for school I figured out exactly how long she could sleep, how much time it would take her to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush her teeth and get ready for school. By my calculations, 7:30 am was perfectly sufficient.
My daughter is a Cheerleader/Activist, meaning she doesn’t move in a straight line. Asking her to do something as simple as putting on her socks (which are 3 feet away) takes 20 minutes because she will walk throughout the house before she arrives at her socks. In that time, she will check on the princess in the castle, play with the frog, walk upstairs and wonder why she is there and eventually arrive back downstairs at her socks.
Her behavior used to drive me nuts until I realized that she’s a people person, she’s a feeler and she likes to move in circles. Playtime is just as important as any other activity for her and animals outrank most people.
What was the solution? It was simple: getting her get up at 7:00 am to give her enough time to move in circles as fit her personality instead of forcing her to fit her personality into my parenting routine.
It totally went against my instinct to maximize her sleep; however, by understanding her needs and her process, it became apparent that she just needed the extra time. The results: peaceful mornings, a daughter that get to be “who” she is and a mom that gets to leave on time.
Parenting to our child’s personality type helps us recognize that sometimes our children have a different personality style than us and we can accommodate that and recognize their strengths. Does that mean we get it perfect? No, there’s no perfect, but there’s always room for improvement. It does mean starting from a place of understanding.
It may mean different rules for different siblings after all, each of them are different people with different personality types. It really works to notice, respect and honor the unique personalities with the people in our families. Not only will it make us more accepting of ourselves, our strengths and our challenges, but it will also make us more tolerant of others.
In a family with many different Character Codes™, tolerance and understanding is a valuable skill on the path to peace!
Want to learn more about the Character Code™ System? Visit www.brandymychals.com.
19 Comments
This is great information, I wish I would have had it 10 years ago when my child was acting out. Or maybe it was me who was acting out! I think my son is an Activist/Class President and I am a Cheerleader who wants everyone to move quickly…and my son moves at his own pace. Knowing the Character Codes not only helps you with others, it also helps you to understand why you do the things you do.
Victoria Buckmann
Your Wealth Catalyst
Thank you so much for your article, Brandy! It is so great to learn about how to apply your Character Code System to parenting! I am excited to apply this to parenting my 5 year old boy.
I sure wish I’d had this kind of information when my kids were young. There’s a lot I remember fondly about their childhood, but not the struggles that could have been avoided if I’d had a better sense of what they needed, just because they are who they are.
Brandy, Well said!
Understanding one another’s preferences and how we operate is key! If you have no clue as to how you or your child operate, little things in life can be a challenge especially when your child’s behavioral style is different from yours. If you are fortunate enough discover your behavioral style, you then open yourself up to a new world of understanding! This can transform a relationship from, one of frustration and static, to one of ease and peace.
Instead of expecting others to match your style, you are open to understanding and appreciating them for their unique style. And in time you may come to prize their differences and even celebrate them! I have used the Myers Briggs Personality Type Indicator for over 30 years. It has changed the lives of many of my clients. I now include Brandy’s Character Code System. It is a visual system, making it simple and easy to use for everyone. If you want to learn more about her system, check it out! You will be glad you did and it may transform the most important relationships in your life!
Michael Potter MS LMFT
Brandy, Well said!
Understanding one another’s preferences and how we operate is key! If you have no clue as to how you or your child operate, little things in life can be a challenge especially when your child’s behavioral style is different from yours. If you are fortunate enough discover your behavioral style, you then open yourself up to a new world of understanding! This can transform a relationship from, one of frustration and static, to one of ease and peace.
Instead of expecting others to match your style, you are open to understanding and appreciating them for their unique style. And in time you may come to prize their differences and even celebrate them! I have used the Myers Briggs Personality Type Indicator for over 30 years. It has changed the lives of many of my clients. I now include Brandy’s Character Code System. It is a visual system, making it simple and easy to use for everyone. If you want to learn more about her system, check it out! You will be glad you did and it may transform the most important relationships in your life!
Michael Potter MS LMFT
This is such an exciting time for new parents. To have this powerful and engaging tool that allows parents and children to connect at a deeper and more profound level is what we all should be embracing as the new method for parenting in the 21st century. I am a new grandmother to a baby boy, and his father, my son, and I have always had a very close relationship in which was full of communication and support as he achieved his goals and dreams. Had I had this gem in my tool box as a parent, I have no doubt, what could be even better. That was then, this is Now, and to offer this tool to him as he raises his son, is priceless. I am excited to have you come to Canada and share this with everyone, as it applies in all areas of life with every person who walks, talks and breaths. This is a GLOBAL ENTERPRIZE (yes I know the spelling), that is on the BRINK of EVOLUTION. I FULLY support you on expanding this to the masses. Thank you for all you be, do and give from your heart. Blessings Brandy
This is such an exciting time for new parents. To have this powerful and engaging tool that allows parents and children to connect at a deeper and more profound level is what we all should be embracing as the new method for parenting in the 21st century. I am a new grandmother to a baby boy, and his father, my son, and I have always had a very close relationship in which was full of communication and support as he achieved his goals and dreams. Had I had this gem in my tool box as a parent, I have no doubt, what could be even better. That was then, this is Now, and to offer this tool to him as he raises his son, is priceless. I am excited to have you come to Canada and share this with everyone, as it applies in all areas of life with every person who walks, talks and breaths. This is a GLOBAL ENTERPRIZE (yes I know the spelling), that is on the BRINK of EVOLUTION. I FULLY support you on expanding this to the masses. Thank you for all you be, do and give from your heart. Blessings Brandy
This is such an exciting time for new parents. To have this powerful and engaging tool that allows parents and children to connect at a deeper and more profound level is what we all should be embracing as the new method for parenting in the 21st century. I am a new grandmother to a baby boy, and his father, my son, and I have always had a very close relationship in which was full of communication and support as he achieved his goals and dreams. Had I had this gem in my tool box as a parent, I have no doubt, what could be even better. That was then, this is Now, and to offer this tool to him as he raises his son, is priceless. I am excited to have you come to Canada and share this with everyone, as it applies in all areas of life with every person who walks, talks and breaths. This is a GLOBAL ENTERPRIZE (yes I know the spelling), that is on the BRINK of EVOLUTION. I FULLY support you on expanding this to the masses. Thank you for all you be, do and give from your heart. Blessings Brandy
I’ve applied this information when I photograph kids, and is one of the main reasons ( out of the very many) that I get these adorable expressions from then during the photo sessions.
Thank you Brandy, after being a nanny for 7 years whilst finding my passion I can think of several parents that would benefit from this sage advice, every person coming into the world is their own being and much as we might want to mold them into “mini-me’s” they deserve to themselves. By parenting to the character code many more children will grow up to the person they were destined to be. Thank you for sharing and parents out there take note of this sage advice, it will bring you closer to your children and give you greater understanding of their talents and needs
This has made all the difference in how I show up as a parent! Thank you so much for the comments 🙂
Brandy
What a lovely thing the Character Code System is for so many reasons. Brandy. Just knowing that each of us has different motivations, makes trying to force people to act the same seem pointless. It feels wonderful to easily be able to spot a Cheerleader or a Class President from across the room. More fun to engage with our kids knowing what motivates them.
Jennifer Duchene
Home Makeover Mixtress blending lifestyles and laughter
I just love this story!! Thank you for the reminder to allow our children to be themselves and to find creative ways to do life together in a way that works for all.
Great points Brandy!! Being a parent is truly a gift and we must work to work with their little personalities instead of trying to force them into something that we want or that works for us!!
Thanks so much for this information, Brandy. Your Character Code System truly is a gem. I so see that my daughter is like yours… and to top it all I am too. (so we can run around in circles for ages! ;-))
Applying this with my kid is so helpful and I am even understanding myself more in the process.
Nathalie Ekobo
The International Alchemist
Brandy,
As a mom of four kids I appreciate how different each one of my children is and how important it is to “play” on their level of being. I love how you’ve created a system to simplify the process. My kids are mostly grown, but I’m still learning how to parent them effectively as they move into adulthood. Thank you for showing me an easy way to do just that.
Kelly Cornell
http://www.kellycornellwellness.com
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How wonderful to have this figured out. Too late for my Son and I. However, the sharing of these concepts will save many others I encounter. Thank You Brandy.
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