We all know the dream we thought we signed up for. Raising a family with our soul mate, creating the business of our dreams and basically Having It All.
The “All” we want is to be the “Best _____________” we can be. You can fill in the blank with mother, wife, self-expressed woman, breadwinner, daughter, friend, community leader, lover, caregiver, yogini, life traveller and likely a dozen other roles that speak to your heart.
Many of us mompreneurs found our way to the entrepreneurial path because we thought it was a great way to balance our family needs and professional aspirations. After all, don’t we get to create our own schedule as we run our own businesses? Didn’t we cut down on the commute because we work from a home office?
Aren’t we great multi-taskers anyways, so isn’t juggling our priorities of children, clients, a relationship, and growing a viable business a piece of cake?
Nope. It ain’t easy being a mompreneur and here’s a big reason why. We forgot to put ourselves on our list of priorities. Mommy has been so busy taking care of the family and her clients, she forgot to take care of herself. And when Mommy’s mojo starts to drop, everyone knows it and feels it.
When the mompreneur forgets to recharge her own batteries things start to fall between the cracks. Your child reminds you after dinner she needs Bristol board and chicken wire for the big school project due tomorrow, but you had been planning to write your sales copy for your new product launch. Little setbacks in your marketing plunge you into big-time self-doubt about whether you can make the whole entrepreneur thing work anyway.
It gets worse. Your nerves start to fray and you get short with your husband, kids and team members. You pull on your martyr cape and wonder why more people aren’t pitching in to help make things run smoother. A feeling of resentment starts to build. You fall into bed exhausted at night, hoping your perpetual mental to-do lists don’t wake you up in the middle of the night again.
Life as a mompreneur operates like a well-oiled machine. Without Mommy getting real about her need for self-care it’s like forgetting to put gas in your car. Eventually, you end up running on fumes. You grind to a halt and some of the things you care the most about – your children, your relationship, your desire to serve others – start to suffer. Worse still, we aren’t being the best role models to our children of the need to value and honor ourselves.
We can only truly serve others from a full cup. If you allow your cup to be half empty, you risk serving others from the dregs of what you have left over. But when we consistently commit to putting ourselves on the priority list and practicing strong self-care, our energetic cup fills to overflowing. There is abundance, ease and flow in how we show up and support others.
Simple Ways to Get Started Filling your Cup up to the Brim and More
#1: Stop the Energy Leaks – What are the top 5 sources of stress in your life today? For each one, identify one simple action step you can take either reduce or eliminate the drain. For example, is there something you need to say no to, or delegate to someone else? Is there a priority you need to defer? Make sure you have one specific action for each area and block out time in the next 7 days to take that action.
#2: Start a Daily Check-in – Start a new habit of checking in with yourself, by asking “How full is my cup today?” Take just 30 seconds after you brush your teeth in the morning to see what is one specific thing you could do today to fill your cup even more.
#3: Be in the Great Outdoors – Even if it’s sitting quietly on your front doorstep looking at the trees for 5 minutes, taking time in nature or just fresh air is a great way to refuel yourself.
#4: Treat your Body Like a Temple – Start off with small concrete actions to treat your body with the love and respect it deserves. How about being in bed by 10 pm each night? Or grabbing a piece of fruit instead of a cookie when you want something sweet?
#5: Feed Your Soul – Feeding your soul can take place in many ways – doing a yoga class, journaling, meditating, participating in a church service, walking quietly through a park, gardening. Make time for stillness so you can listen more clearly to your own inner wisdom.
#6: Express Yourself – Whether it’s belting out some of your favorite tunes, arranging some fresh flowers, or letting your creativity out in some other way, expressing yourself gives you a big boost in both energy and good humor.
Want more tips on how to unlock your brilliance? Get a copy of Carolyn’s special report “The 7 Secrets to Unlocking Your Brilliance as a Woman Entrepreneur”, visit www.BrillianceMastery.com
4 Comments
Carolyn,
This hit the nail on the head. I think that we all need lots of reminders to pause and do our self-care! Thanks (both as a mom & a psychologist)!
Ann
Thanks for your comments, Ann – and you’ve got the personal and perspective to verify the need for us to put that old oxygen mask on ourselves first.
Best wishes to you, Carolyn
This is without a doubt one of the hardest things for people (both men and women) to recognize as an issue in their business. They have no balance in their life because they have no energy to do what has to get done and then they crash, taking valuable time from everything else in their lives.
I love the tips Carolyn, thanks.
Barb
Filling up your glass is a delightful way to put it. I agree that women need to set boundaries. I believe it so much I wrote a book about it. “Le Chic Cocoon” 7 Steps to creating your Selfish Space. I think that being selfish first, gives us the passion to help others.