Raising children is not easy. How about following your dreams while raising children? Seems rather impossible. Or could it also be a very convenient excuse…
We see it all the time. Moms get excited about following a passion they’ve always had but then the little voice inside their head starts telling them all the reasons why they can’t do it.
So then it becomes; I will do this WHEN the kids are in school full time, WHEN my husband starts working less, WHEN the kids are in college and before you know it their dreams are shelved once again.
It becomes easy to use the children (or spouse) as an excuse for not going after what they really want.
We seem to forget sometimes that we are our children’s role models. If we spend our life compromising our own dreams and happiness, we teach them to also sacrifice their dreams and happiness. And even more importantly, do you want your kids thinking they held you back?
We need to shift our perspective and realize that the more fulfilled we are as mothers, the more we have to give our children. The greatest gift we can give our children is to be the happiest mother we can be. And sometimes this means having the courage to follow our dreams.
So instead of being an excuse, our children are the exact reason why we need to follow our dreams.
The most beautiful and inspiring quote I ever read is from Marianne Williamson from her book A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
The next time you start thinking that you can’t pursue a dream because of the kids, think of it as doing it for them. It’s time to let your own light shine!
Want more tips on dealing with mom guilt? Grab a copy of the Mothers on Fire book Becoming a Mother on Fire: A Guide to Being a Mom Without Losing Yourself