I hate running. Full stop.
Don’t think I haven’t tried to like it. I have given it the old college-try, but seriously, I loathe it. I’ve joined running groups where the hyper-caffeinated instructors lead you on a pre-planned route of pain. I’ve registered for running races (and even won cool prizes). I’ve teamed up with experienced runners to try to learn from their mastery.
Still no love. Not even like. The best it gets is a resentful tolerance.
Honestly, what is there to love about your boobs bouncing around painfully as you inelegantly thud down the street hoping that your neighbours don’t witness this horror in action? (And yes, I have a kick-ass sports bra and no, I don’t have big boobs, but the lady twins are a bit sensitive so let’s leave it at that.)
Now before you give me the lecture about finding your running Zen and all that blah, blah, blah, trust me when I say, “I do not have any Zen.” There is no Zen for me (unless you mean the constant chant of “This sucks, this sucks, this f-ing sucks” that is on a steady loop while I am doing what I affectionately call my patheta-runs).
This is the same reason I flunk out of yoga classes. (Now yoga people are too nice to say that you fail, but I know from the disapproving looks I get while giggling at the thought of trying to look up my own ass that they are thinking yoga is not for everyone and here’s the living proof.)
Don’t even suggest going to the gym because unless they offer flail-a-size, I’m not interested (see discussion of failure at yoga for the reasons the gym is not an option). Besides the lack of enthusiasm for public humiliation, leaving the house to workout when you work-at-home seems ridiculous (hence why I love Dana Pieper’s Move of the Week videos).
So back to the reason why I run despite not enjoying it in the least.
Efficiency — Get more done is less time. Running is efficient (I know, what a shocker that a Type A person would choose extra suffering for reasons of efficiency). I can get my heart rate up enough to count it as a decent workout in 30 minutes of pain-a-thon compared to the hours I’d need to spend power walking with friends (which truth be told, I prefer).
Use-It or Lose-It — Don’t stop moving! As you age (and we all do), fitness is a use-it or lose-it. Unlike in your 20’s and even 30’s, once you hit your 40’s and 50’s, recovering from periods of inactivity gets harder and harder. Plus, as you age, your body slowly loses muscle mass through a process called sarcopenia (read more on sarcopenia and age-related muscle loss here) .
No Equipment Required — Put on your shoes and you are good to go! Okay, you will probably want pants and a shirt unless you want to further alarm the neighbours. But seriously, what other activity requires so little equipment to achieve so many results? Trust me, I once figured out my net worth in sporting equipment. That stuff gets expensive.
Not a runner either? Stay tuned for my How to Start Running Guide for Non-Runners where I share my tips for getting started running (from the perspective of a person who hates running).
