Sometimes motherhood is so funny and weird and unexpectedly random in both good and bad ways that IT should be a board game. You roll the dice and score an extended nap or an early bedtime or you draw a chance card that sends you straight to mommy jail, do not pass go and collect $100.
If motherhood were a board game, it would go something like this…
The objective of the game of motherhood is to navigate an entire week of three meals and two snacks a day, 7 nights of bed and bath routine, countless stories, snuggles, boo-boo’s, temper tantrums and earn your mompreneur Productivity Points, Good Mommy Badges, and Happy House Points. Good luck!
Roll the dice. Advance two mommy tasks and draw the Lucky Me card: “You have just been nominated by the parent council to coordinate the library bake sale! Skip your next turn.”
Next turn. Roll six advancing you six (can you believe it? What a productive day) mommy tasks and draw a Life Happens card: “The school calls and your daughter has fallen off the playground equipment and needs to see a doctor. Lose 10 Productivity Points.”
Roll a three. Advance to the Shopping Day and take a card from the Parenting Decisions deck. “Your child has a temper tantrum over the sugar cereal he saw on TV, roll the dice to determine your decision.”
Bonus roll (odd or even). Even: “Stick to your decision and put up with the puzzled looks from strangers as your toddler throws himself on the ground in a fit of rage. Earn a Good Mommy Badge. “
Roll the dice. Advance eight to the Mommy Roadblock Square where you “Return to the beginning, lose all your Productivity Points and miss your next turn.”
Next turn. Roll a four advancing you to the Happy Household Square where you can “Choose to treat the family to a movie night out or order in pizza.” You choose movie night out and score 5 Happy Household Points.
Roll eight landing you on another Life Happens card: “Unexpected child birthday! Treat yourself to 2 hours of leisure time with your husband and earn 10 Mommy Sanity Points.”
Final turn. Roll seven advancing you to the “You made it through another week of motherhood. Congratulations – now get ready to do it all over again.”
(And if this idea prompts you to create the Motherhood board game, please send all royalties to Carla Young at MOMeo Magazine)!