It’s amazing just how busy we are with the minutia of day-to-day living. Trying to get more done in our business, attempting to keep a tidier house to impress the neighbors, and endlessly stocking up on groceries so if a hurricane blew the entire city over, we’d still have plenty of healthy snacks.
It’s amazing how little of it really matters.
What’s even more amazing is how a single event can help refocus and reprioritize everything in a matter of seconds.
That event happened to my dear friend Elizabeth Potts Weinstein when her lovely 5-year-old daughter Gracie was diagnosed with a 3 cm brain tumor in her cerebellum. Elizabeth rushed her to the hospital, not stopping to pack up her laptop, to call in business back up, or even update her twitter status.
In a matter of seconds, her priorities shifted to the bright-eyed girl who needed her mommy by her side as the doctors poked and prodded to determine the best course of treatment for her growing brain. She stayed focused on that little girl allowing her friends and family to rally around her for support.
I think of Elizabeth as I remember all the times I hustled my 5-year-old daughter into bed, reading the story perhaps a little too fast and closing the book with a sigh thinking to myself, “Please go to bed without a fuss because I have so much work to finish up.”
Thinking of Elizabeth and Gracie makes me cringe at the times that I allowed my daughter to watch WAY too much TV so I could finish a ‘very important’ proposal, take a networking call from a strategic partner or handle that one last task that got neglected during my official office hours.
My heart aches at the precious little moments I traded for the minutia because none of it really matters. None of it matters compared to having a healthy, happy 5-year-old who believes me when I tell her that fairies watch over her when she sleeps and kisses from mommy chase away bad dreams.
Getting back to the Good Stuff…
#1: Work will always be there – But your kids won’t always be small, or growing, or interested in hanging out with a boring old person like you for much longer. Cherish it.
#2: A messy house equals a life full of fun – If friends and neighbors don’t like it, find new ones. As long as it doesn’t land you on an episode of The Hoarders, it can wait (if your mother-in-law doesn’t like it, send her a copy of this post).
#3: Forget being Super Mom – Eating pancakes for dinner or ordering in once in a while won’t kill them or stunt their growth. Ditch the Super Mom routine – it’s not realistic anyway.
#4: Be present in the moment – Live and breathe and enjoy the moments that you have them with you. It won’t be long before the tears you shed at Kindergarten are the tears you shed for College.
9 Comments
So true, Carla! My husband and I just got a glimpse of the empty nest when all 3 kids were at camps last week. We had a long talk about priorities and making the time we have left really count.
Thanks Carla – so very, very true. I'm crying as I read this because I have done the same things so many times!
Just yesterday when I went home from work at lunch time, I went straight to my laptop. My 9 year old son was moving my power cord off his chair and noticed that it was making a strange noise and commented about it. My 10 year old daughter then said, “That's because she's on that thing 24/7” – it struck me that I'd been away all morning and didn't even take the time to hang out with them at lunch time.
And I know better – I have a 19 year old who is never home that I miss terribly. Here I am missing out on chances with the other two!
Thanks for the reminder. Have a wonderful weekend with your family! 🙂
Thank you for the reminder, Carla. I've been taking out my frustration over work this week on my kids, which is most unfair to them. Time for me to prioritize what is important and what is not as important and set boundaries that clearly delineate work time and family time. It's so easy to blur that line when having a home based business. On more than one occasion I've been reminded by both of them that “my work is more important than them.” Not the impression I want to make.
You are so right. This is indeed a timely reminder for me, as I have been juggling demand on my time. Our kids are the most important aspect of our lives and as you say it is so easy to get caught up in the day to day. I would stop and smell the roses with my kids, but I don’t have any, so I think we might stop and smell the sea air, listen to the surf rumbling and enjoy those precious moments of time that my kids actually want to spend time with me. Thanks for the re-focus Carla.
You are so right. This is indeed a timely reminder for me, as I have been juggling demand on my time. Our kids are the most important aspect of our lives and as you say it is so easy to get caught up in the day to day. I would stop and smell the roses with my kids, but I don't have any, so I think we might stop and smell the sea air, listen to the surf rumbling and enjoy those precious moments of time that my kids actually want to spend time with me. Thanks for the re-focus Carla.
Oh you warned me and I didn’t get the tissues. My bad dies from a brain tumor and things like that also make you realize you have to enjoy every moment – now I’m going to have to go and blow my nose….
Oh you warned me and I didn't get the tissues. My bad dies from a brain tumor and things like that also make you realize you have to enjoy every moment – now I'm going to have to go and blow my nose….
Okaaaay, I’m logging off now! Great reminder, Carla and friends.
Okaaaay, I'm logging off now! Great reminder, Carla and friends.