‘Tis the season for cold noses, hot chocolate and warm family moments – the special kind of togetherness that just happens in between the hustle and bustle. You never know when or how it happens because like everything wonderful and unexpected, it just does, without effort or planning.
Like the shared laughter that comes out of nowhere when the silent unspoken joke is understood by all or the special moments that turn into cherished memories when a milestone passes with the unremarkable ease of yet another accomplishment of growing up.
Just as it is impossible to catch a falling snowflake between your fingers without its crystal beauty turning into a tiny puddle, it’s impossible to describe what makes these moments so special except that it requires everyone being fully present, a difficult task in our multitasking culture.
Miscellaneous Thoughts on the Holidays
Think of them as ingredients or thoughts on creating special moments rather than any sort of attempt to prescribe a formula or create a recipe like you would for planning the perfect dinner party.
#1: Unstructured time – The only ‘rule’ is that there are no rules. No plans, no structure, no goals…nothing!
Such much of our daily lives are about schedules, routine, goals – getting from here to there at the right time, with the right things done. What makes the holidays so special is breaking free from all that and just being.
#2: Storytelling – Share all those silly, quirky “I bet you never thought your parents would do something crazy like this…” stories with your kids.
Why? Well…because. Do you really need more reason than that to let your kids know you as people?
#3: Simple pleasures – It’s true that money can’t buy happiness and it also can’t buy any of the truly special moments – random food fights, co-conspirators giggling at a secret, letting your hair down (WAY DOWN).
Think hot chocolate, snow fights, tobogganing by moonlight, building pillow forts or whatever else requires nothing but fun and imagination to achieve it.
#4: Sharing with friends and family – Somehow sharing moments with family and friends just makes it all that more special.
Invite them into your games and see what happens? Who knows…it could be the start of lifelong friendships for your children, as the children of friends become their friends.
#5: Let go of perfection – Perfection has no place in the special. Perfection equals planning and stress and unmet expectations instead of the surprising randomness of special moments.
How can laughing so hard that snot bubbles come out of your nose be described in terms of perfection? It can’t, but when it happens it’s so wonderful and magical that no one minds the presence of the normally frowned upon giant snot bubble.
#6: Just be – Be present, be mindful and be willing to let things happen. You can’t force special moments to happen as hard as some try to script the perfect moment.
Remember, the special times happen in the in-between space – the moments between the events, the stuff that happens despite the planning.