Here’s the thing. There are times when everyone – and I mean EVERYONE feels stuck.
Anyone who says they don’t is either fibbing or delusional.
I’m betting that if you are reading this, you are intimately familiar with feeling stuck – in your business, in your life, or even in both – maybe even this very minute. Please know that I have been where you are. Unfocused, unmotivated and unable to move forward.
The emergency steps I am about to share are based on my personal experiences getting “unstuck,” as well as the work I’ve done “unsticking” my clients.
My intention is to give you concrete solutions that, if you actively apply them, will get you unstuck and moving forward.
So let’s get going – okay?!
Emergency Step #1: Answer this question for yourself: Am I really stuck?
I think sometimes we use the words “I’m stuck” because they’re simpler, easier and far more palatable than figuring out what really might be going on.
So, what are some other possibilities that are a little closer to the truth?
I’m not really stuck…I’m actually afraid.
I’m not really stuck…I’m actually overwhelmed.
I’m not really stuck…I just can’t see how to do it MY way. (i.e. – my way is the ONLY way.)
I’m not really stuck…I just can’t change someone else. (i.e. “if THEY would only do right…”)
I’m not really stuck…I’d just rather be miserable in my comfort zone than take the risk of succeeding or failing.
I’m not really stuck…I just don’t really want to deal with this right now. Which sounds better: saying “I’m stuck” or “I’m procrastinating?”
Emergency Step #2: Move your body
But first…now is as good a time as any to put a little tough love on the table:
If you are unwilling to try this or any other step, you are choosing to stay stuck. So, I am going to ask you to take responsibility for that choice and revisit Step #1.
Put on some music and dance. Take a walk. Go to the gym.
Just get the blood pumping and your body moving. By shifting your energy away from the “stuckness” into doing something you CAN do, all kinds of possibilities, solutions and new ways of thinking will emerge.
Emergency Step #3: Break it down
It you are facing something that has you completely shut down in stuck-ness, break it down into ridiculously small baby steps. I mean steps so small they feel absurd.
Here is the question I ask myself when I feel stuck: What is the smallest step I know I can take without fail that will move me toward where I want to go?
Small steps lead to big steps and can eventually lead to an all out run. The important thing is to give yourself a small success to build upon.
Emergency Step #4: Choose a reward
I am ALL about rewards to get me off the dime! Choose a meaningful carrot to dangle in front of your nose to get you moving.
And here’s the trick with this emergency step: GIVE YOURSELF THE REWARD.
Complete the step, get the reward, then decide to do more. If you don’t give yourself the reward you promised yourself, you will stop believing yourself. Don’t put yourself in that position.
Emergency Step #5: Bag it, barter it or better it
This is a trick my mentor, Martha Beck, taught me. When faced with a task I can’t get moving on, I ask:
1) Can I bag it?
Let’s face it – many things on our to-do list really aren’t that important in the grand scheme of things. What’s the worst that will happen if I just don’t do it?
2) Can I barter it?
Just because it has to be done, does it have to be done by ME? Can I trade with someone who loves to do this thing?
As an example, two neighbors of mine exchange gardening and baking chores. Each does the thing they love most, and eliminates the thing they dislike. Pretty cool, huh?!
3) Can I better it?
Assuming it is a task that a) must be done and b) must be done by me – how can I make the experience as delightful as possible?
I’ll use bill-paying (which I loathe) as an example. I now have a special box, outfitted with my favorite pen, envelopes, stamps and a calculator that I pull out for bill-paying time. I sit in my favorite chair, play my favorite music, sip on my favorite drink and get my bills paid. Doesn’t change the task itself, but the experience is FAR more enjoyable.
Now that you actually have some tools for getting unstuck, I want you to answer the following question for yourself:
What am I willing to do in the next 24 hours to move myself from feeling stuck to going forward?
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Sarah Robinson is a seasoned coach and business strategist who is passionate about the idea of escaping mediocrity – both personally and professionally.
Her blog, escaping-mediocrity.com not only journals her personal adventures in breaking free from the stranglehold of mediocrity, but also offers insights, tools and a “tribe” for those who feel pulled toward the same adventurous life.
Her expertise in personal and business change was developed through many years of working with and providing coaching to other entrepreneurs and start-up non-profits, where she honed her ability to “turn around” thousands of struggling individuals and organizations.
31 Comments
Hi Sarah, just wanted to say how much i enjoyed your article–i took your advice to heart and i'm taking the challenge to do something in the next 24 hours to get unstuck!
Excellent. Action and stuck can't co-exist – yay for you!!!
Thank you Sarah for sharing your tips for getting unstuck! You nailed it right on the head that often there's something more behind the stuckness and that getting past that requires acknowledging what's really going on!
Sarah, this article is awesome. I never thought about choosing a reward for getting stuff done, but I see how it can improve motivation. These steps will definitely come in handy with upcoming midterms.
i have the same issue with paying bills–paperwork of any kind really and I loved the idea of making the experience more like a spa date! lol
Sarah, loved the article. But how can you tell the difference between being stuck and just procrastinating?
Great job Sarah. I think there are a lot of dads out there that can benefit from this too. Just remember… Be happy with where you are, but never satisfied. I guess If you're not satisfied or not happy…refer to #1-5 above.
Great advice, Sarah! Thanks for sharing
Yep! As usual – great stuff. I love the question, “Am I really stuck?” Another great question is to ask, “Where am I stuck?” That helps clarify where to invest the money for help! Also it helps for me to get help on the “break it down part. That makes my head hurt – but its Mr. Parris' strong suit. (and should be for his zillions of dollars in process certifications!) So, we work together – but a mastermind group, a coach or a community like this one are great for moving us forward with action. Thanks!!
Thanks Carla! Love being a part of the MOMeo site. 🙂
The rewards step is my very favorite. 🙂
Great question! Procrastination usually means that we KNOW what we need to do, we just don't do it. Or we haven't broken it down into small enough steps or whatever else we need to do to move into action.
Hope this helps!
Well well well. Carla let you on here?!! And yes, usually if we are happy and/or satisfied, the word “stuck” doesn't apply. 🙂
You are welcome!
Hey Gina! Thank you for such kind words. Breaking it down to small steps doesn't have to be hard. Back in the day I was a rock climber. I learned very quickly that when I was on the rock it did not help to look up (way to overwhelming) or look down (way to scary). They only thing I had to do in the next moment was look for the next place to put my hand or my foot. That's all. And bit by bit, I made my way up the rock.
Support is critical too. Without someone “on belay” below to keep me relatively safe if I fell, I never would have begun the climb. 🙂
I LOVE rock climbing. Good analogy. I especially love when someone else has picked the location, brought the gear and knows exactly what to do. What does that mean? LOL
I love #5 — lately I have been going with the “Do It, Delegate It, Dump It” which is quite similar. Sometimes, at least for me, getting stuck is more like not resolving something and continuing to come back to it ad nauseum than anything else. Now, I try to “just do it” (or dump it, or delegate it) and move on.
Motion is important, as is sometimes being OK with being stuck and honoring our stuckness so we can properly move on to the next awesome thing.
xo ~ Alli
That's a great analogy Sarah!
Sometimes it's way too scary to look down or up so the best way forward is to focus on those tiny steps! When I start to get stuck, I set my goal for the day at ONE critical must-do task and focus on finishing it and anything else is a bonus!
Me TOO!!! I live by Do It, Delegate It, Dump It (different words, but same idea). I find when I get into overwhelm is when I spin my wheels on any one particular task!
Sarah – I really love this – probably because I am someone who frequently alternates between 'stuck' and 'feeling like I've got it all together'. Right now I'm in a 'stuck' moment – but I can trace it to being overwhelmed. I love that you referenced Martha Beck – there is something about reading her writings that always makes me feel calm and centered. She reminds me of the things I already know in my heart.
Sarah, this is such a great post! Everyone who has ever felt stuck needs this post hanging on their refrigerator! My favorite is step#4, I am all about the rewards and so many of us forget how nice it is to get a treat for our efforts! What a great suggestion as a means to get unstuck! Name your reward and get moving! Love it.
Fabulous post! Thanks 🙂
woo-HOO to rewards!
Sarah,
It is amazing how when one is right in the middle of being stuck, we don't recognize being there or the strategies for getting “unstuck”. One can be so darned absorbed in it, common sense gets lost. Your emergency steps are GREAT ways for someone to launch their brain, body and action forward to following a path that takes the UCK out of stuck = S.T. Soaring Through!
woo-HOO to rewards!
I love that…the UCK out of stuck = Soaring Through!
Sarah,
It is amazing how when one is right in the middle of being stuck, we don’t recognize being there or the strategies for getting “unstuck”. One can be so darned absorbed in it, common sense gets lost. Your emergency steps are GREAT ways for someone to launch their brain, body and action forward to following a path that takes the UCK out of stuck = S.T. Soaring Through!
Excellent advice. I tend to fall into another camp when I get “stuck,” that of being determined to make something “perfect.” I was talking about this with friends a couple of nights ago, that we feel stuck because something has to be “better” when in actuality “good enough” will do. I get in this track less now than I did before, though I still procrastinate in the hopes of making something fit that impossible definition. Letting go of this tendency has been one of my major “wins” in the last few months.
I love that…the UCK out of stuck = Soaring Through!
Excellent advice. I tend to fall into another camp when I get “stuck,” that of being determined to make something “perfect.” I was talking about this with friends a couple of nights ago, that we feel stuck because something has to be “better” when in actuality “good enough” will do. I get in this track less now than I did before, though I still procrastinate in the hopes of making something fit that impossible definition. Letting go of this tendency has been one of my major “wins” in the last few months.
As a fellow “recovering perfectionist”, I know EXACTLY what you mean!
I wrote a post on how perfection holds us back and ways to battle perfectionism:
https://www.terrarenewables.ca/is-perfection-hold…
Kuddos to you for letting go of it! I will tell you it's something you never really step away from, but there are definitely ways to overcome the tendency!
Keep up with the Good is good enough!
As a fellow “recovering perfectionist”, I know EXACTLY what you mean!
I wrote a post on how perfection holds us back and ways to battle perfectionism:
https://www.terrarenewables.ca/is-perfection-holding-you-back/
Kuddos to you for letting go of it! I will tell you it’s something you never really step away from, but there are definitely ways to overcome the tendency!
Keep up with the Good is good enough!